Toilet Paper


Max Rubin, Staff Writer

This crisis gave birth to an interesting craze

We folk have gone crazy in all sorts of ways

People are buying about in a daze

Enough toilet paper for hundreds of days


This whole situation is kind of surreal

I’m not sure exactly how it makes me feel

My family and I found new ways of conserving

My mother especially finds it unnerving 


We just ordered packs of tp rolls from China

Because there was no other place else we could find-a 

Need to start finding a way to unwind-a

You ask me, “are you getting lonely?” – Well kind-a.


I hope this thing does blow over soon

The brightness I once felt has now turned to gloom

And now, as I sit here and write in my room

I hope that the future brings sunshine, not doom


The extent of my sanity begins to taper

The great microcosm of the world’s toilet paper