The Cycle of Breaking Apart and Building It Back Together

Annie Wang, Contributor

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       “it gets so much better. and it does. but they forgot the part where your life just falls right      

        apart again just after things were getting better; happier.”         

 

But it always falls back together again, doesn’t it? And then fall apart again, and fall back together. It’s really just an endless, repeating cycle. It’s frustrating, but that’s just how life is: it’s one big mess until you fix it bit by bit, continuously. It’s like what my teacher once said, “Happiness is fleeting. It comes and goes, like sadness.” It’s like what I thought to myself back in January when I couldn’t stop acts of repetition from going on in my head, when my thoughts felt like a jumble of mess: with tidiness comes messiness, and with messiness comes tidiness. If you give it enough time, it always comes back around.

 

               “be patient with yourself. nothing blooms all year”

 

So you’ll always get better; you’ll always survive. Maybe you’ll realize it months later in June when you look back at February, at the weeks when your mind had come undone like pieces of yarn. I hope that’ll happen for you. I hope that’ll happen for me.

 

                       “you always build it better the second time around”

 

At times like this, you’ll come to see that things always crack and break. It’s inevitable. Oftentimes you can do nothing but to take what’s left of the whole and build a new one; to pick up what’s left of yourself and start anew because you always need to move forward. Now that you have the knowledge from the first time, you’ll have a better understanding of what changes should be made when you build it back the second time, not so that it doesn’t ever break again—because that’s impossible—but so that it won’t break as easily as the first time around; and isn’t that what it’s about? The point is not to become invincible but to break, and learn, and then come back stronger every time.

 

                               “i promise spring is coming, and with it, brand new leaves”